
@mirandagousley
Meghan said lord Rothmere you are a punk ass b**** & your paper is a fail ???

@nickrcody
Hey @drpepper just so you know I am also available to shoot you a promo if you need a former Duck who didn't finish.

@JameyBaskow
If I'm Carter Hart I would take my pads off and throw them in the middle of the room and say okay guys it's your turn.

@SHEsus__Christ
If you can’t trust me with my own body, why would you trust me with a baby?

@Shader70
I woke up this morning and my wife was already gone. There was a note by the coffeemaker that read “I’m sorry. This isn’t working for me.”. I still don’t know what she was talking about. The coffee tasted fine.

@Trashis4Tossers
I painted a portrait of my dog on a pumpkin, what do you think? It’s totally sustainable and biodegradable fall decorating!

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