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And we would have got away with it too if it wasn’t for our love of anagrams https://t.co/YeEYAKUWCS

To be a leader you don't need a leadership title. To have a leadership title doesn't mean you are a leader.

Stop sucking up to your favorite gurus in their comments, have some self-respect for f*cks sake.

i am a machine that turns estrogen into theorems

Loyal people have “M” in their names✨

Spider-Man: No Way José

Meghan said lord Rothmere you are a punk ass b**** & your paper is a fail ???

Hey @drpepper just so you know I am also available to shoot you a promo if you need a former Duck who didn't finish.

I like having tits what can I say

I think I’d be sorted into Hufflepuff.

I've more faith in Dr Pepper than I do in Dr Fauci.

If I'm Carter Hart I would take my pads off and throw them in the middle of the room and say okay guys it's your turn.

If you can’t trust me with my own body, why would you trust me with a baby?

Laws are on one side, poets on the other

I woke up this morning and my wife was already gone. There was a note by the coffeemaker that read “I’m sorry. This isn’t working for me.”. I still don’t know what she was talking about. The coffee tasted fine.

I painted a portrait of my dog on a pumpkin, what do you think? It’s totally sustainable and biodegradable fall decorating!