Latest tweets

Kieran Culkin is what happens when you attempt to do a gritty human remake of Kermit the Frog.

The most important person you’ll ever love is yourself.

i just want Frank Ocean to come back

[me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] it was crazy [friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?

i’m surprised paul thomas anderson isn’t on twitter cuz he loves telling a story with 280 characters

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

@jonsteingart @AnthonyMKreis You know, the guy who actually does the reading. He's lovely

fav LA breakfast burritos: wake & late villa corona la azteca cofax c&m lily’s rick’s mixto samo’s tu madre sonoritas macheen lucky boy court cafe great white the rooster isaac's cafe all day baby the choriman corner cottage guerrilla cafecito doubting thomas angry egret dinette

If you’re upset because your 6 figure NFT could be worth less than another person’s 6 figure NFT you’re lucky you don’t have real problems tbh.

"Your top music moods are angst....." Take that, mom. I told you it wasn't a phase.

Why do people slurp coffee like fucking animals? Just wait until it's not hot, you fucking freaks.

In fairness to Oklahoma, If the head coach of Notre Dame ever got poached by another Power 5 school I would probably lose my mind too. However in my entire lifetime all of Notre Dame’s head coaches have been 1. Fired or 2. Brian Kelly

There’s the office decorations done.

Sex with the right person is amazing. Have sex, a lot of it but be responsible!

If someone from the most famous japanese video game company urinates on you, you’re getting a Nintendo Wee

sometimes you have to wear the GAY SUNHAT...... other times you have to wear the BIG MAN BOOT.........