Latest tweets

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

@jonsteingart @AnthonyMKreis You know, the guy who actually does the reading. He's lovely

fav LA breakfast burritos: wake & late villa corona la azteca cofax c&m lily’s rick’s mixto samo’s tu madre sonoritas macheen lucky boy court cafe great white the rooster isaac's cafe all day baby the choriman corner cottage guerrilla cafecito doubting thomas angry egret dinette

If you’re upset because your 6 figure NFT could be worth less than another person’s 6 figure NFT you’re lucky you don’t have real problems tbh.

"Your top music moods are angst....." Take that, mom. I told you it wasn't a phase.

Why do people slurp coffee like fucking animals? Just wait until it's not hot, you fucking freaks.

In fairness to Oklahoma, If the head coach of Notre Dame ever got poached by another Power 5 school I would probably lose my mind too. However in my entire lifetime all of Notre Dame’s head coaches have been 1. Fired or 2. Brian Kelly

There’s the office decorations done.

Sex with the right person is amazing. Have sex, a lot of it but be responsible!

If someone from the most famous japanese video game company urinates on you, you’re getting a Nintendo Wee

sometimes you have to wear the GAY SUNHAT...... other times you have to wear the BIG MAN BOOT.........

Bothered by a new Christmas movie bc it doesn’t address COVID.I know it was shot during the pandemic,so are we pretending there’s no virus? We can’t get a script about how they’ve managed to have a big,maskless indoor party w strangers in 2021 & no vaxx or testing status convo?

jungkook

Mondays need lube.

Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Cyber Bullying Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk Away From The Screen Like Nigga Close Your Eyes Haha

My 11 year old asked me to Tweet that the Heisman voters are “so dumb” for not inviting Bama’s Will Anderson to New York. So here it is.