@6figgazent
I CANT BELIEVE WE STAYED UP AND SCREAMED HAPPY NEW YEAR FOR THIS BULLSHIT
@RandallTime
If the Cleveland Cavaliers win the 2018 NBA finals I’ll buy everyone who retweet’s this a jersey...
@dril
age 0 (baby): I want my Dada . age 25 (Millennial): I want my Data Do you see how fucked this is?
@13adh13
I just want someone who looks at me the way my brother looks at ketchup
@skullmandible
most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
@ch000ch
hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it
@realDonaldTrump
Every time I speak of the haters and losers I do so with great love and affection. They cannot help the fact that they were born fucked up!
@elonmusk
Reminder that Tesla Full Self-Driving (FSD) price goes up by $1k on July 1st
@realDonaldTrump
Lowest rated Oscars in HISTORY. Problem is, we don’t have Stars anymore - except your President (just kidding, of course)!
@Mormonger
Nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s
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