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Alice Wetterlund
@alicewetterlund
Me, in hell: I was told there would be a “special” place for me?
tater tot bros
@thetits
FIRST PERSON TO GET A CAT: haha this thing is an asshole I’m gonna keep it
Sage Boggs
@sageboggs
me: hi welcome to the party people with dogs: we have to get home and let the dogs out
RICO
@somethinglovely
mom: so if your friends jum-- me: ━━━━━┒ ┓┏┓┏┓┃ ┛┗┛┗┛┃＼○／ ┓┏┓┏┓┃ / ┛┗┛┗┛┃ノ) ┓┏┓┏┓┃ ┛┗┛┗┛┃ ┓┏┓┏┓┃ ┛┗┛┗┛┃ ┓┏┓┏┓┃ ┛┗┛┗┛┃ ┓┏┓┏┓┃ ┃┃┃┃┃┃ ┻┻┻┻┻┻
I'm nice and normal
@InternetHippo
julius caesar (dying after being stabbed 23 times): please…name a salad after me
Aparna Nancherla ??
@aparnapkin
sorry i am running late, i was leaving my apartment & then accidentally sat down
Shayne Topp
@supershayne
Friendship: When two weirdos accept each other even though they're weirdos.
Folha de S.Paulo
@folha
Veja cinco bares onde assistir à final do Campeonato Paulista neste domingo https://guia.folha.uol.com.br/bares-e-noite/2021/05/veja-cinco-bares-onde-assistir-a-final-do-campeonato-paulista-neste-domingo.shtml?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=twfolha
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