Latest tweets

I don’t believe in Freudian slips. I always say exactly what I peen.

@Mark_E_Wright Roald Dahl - Sat in his Shed Darwin - Sat at Home Leonora Carrington - Sat at Home Tove Jansson - Sat on an Island Nina Simone - Sat at her piano at Home

I prefer to get Christian Porter to pay mine. https://t.co/PqS37UNCSm

Imagine if instead of turning into a bunch of cops, amateur beach photographers and armchair experts on vaccine effectiveness, this country’s progressives had used these unprecedented times to advocate for unprecedented investment in public health, welfare and education.

Europeans mocking the UK like you can't spell incest without CEST ? https://t.co/vmsjSJ2UM6

Right. I can’t speak to, agree with, even look at someone from a particular political party. Ppl aren’t human any more. If you’re black & a Democrat tells u to shove marbles up ur ass, you simply have to. If another party tells u to look out for that bus, stand there & get hit https://t.co/OhjQZCbmBa

Brexit Britain: "I'd like to buy a pound of apples, a pound of bananas and 8 ounces of grapes please." "I'm terribly sorry, but we're completely out of fresh fruit."

"Get him out of Juve, he's playing with a non existent midfield" Proceeds to slander Modric Kroos and Casemiro ?

@gtconway3d @marisac721 Now somebody needs to hold a Supreme Court 101 with the Supreme Court….

मोदी जी को जन्मदिन की हार्दिक शुभकामनाये, ? भगवान आपको @ArvindKejriwal के प्रधानमंत्री बनते देखने की सहनशक्ति दे. ?

@ACE_Updates @TonyGeeLLP Well done Tony G . It starts at the top so we’ll done the boss. Proud Mum love you. I can see you cringing but I don’t care xxx

"Ma balls itch shpidahman but I can't reach em cause ma arms are are too stubby"

New Zealand decided not to play in Pakistan because there is already a tri series going on there between Taliban, Haqqani and the Chinese.

i love pizza it is yum yum yum in my tum tum tum

Don't try to be the best at everything... be the best at being you.

In 2010, Kanye West made his magnum opus, stood on the mountaintop of fame and asked "Can we get much higher". In 2021, Kanye responds to his younger hennesy-drinking ego; "actually, yes we can".