
@duttdoll
Apparently, when you treat people the same way they treat you they get offended!!

@soupinthering
men are either good at bowling or know how to eat pussy these are mutually exclusive

@DuncanStott
Me, slamming out my best tweet of the week. ❤️ 1 Me, shitposting in the replies of someone with numbers. ❤️ 4K

@DeathMetalV
It'll never cease to amaze me a guy who lives in a country club convinced people who live in mobile homes he was relatable.

@jinsbun
i stopped saying i liked reading as a hobby bc everytime someone asks “oh! what do u like reading?” i can’t say “jk getting fucked in the ass”

@_roryturnbull
Hello, I'm a professor in a movie, I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

@katynotie
I have completed my 12 hour Twitter jail sentence for responding to a tweeter who had a tick on them with:


@jzux
microwave: congratulations! your bowl is now piping hot me: amazing! and the food too? microwave: slow down there buddy

@CDCgov
CDC does not currently recommend the use of facemasks to help prevent novel #coronavirus. Take everyday preventive actions, like staying home when you are sick and washing hands with soap and water, to help slow the spread of respiratory illness. #COVID19 https://t.co/uArGZTJhXj

@AOC
The whole point of protesting is to make ppl uncomfortable. Activists take that discomfort w/ the status quo & advocate for concrete policy changes. Popular support often starts small & grows. To folks who complain protest demands make others uncomfortable... that’s the point.
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