Latest tweets

Danke dir @marco_tralles für‘s Teilen und deinen kontinuierlichen Support! ? und natürlich großen Dank für deine führende und entscheidende Rolle bei der Entwicklung unserer tollen Software #gomus ! ?

My mother asked what I was going to make this year for Thanksgiving and I said, "a scene."

If I never wake up from this food coma, please tell my family I died doing what I love. #Thanksgiving

4-year-old: Can we have pizza for Thanksgiving? Me: The pilgrims didn't eat pizza. 4: Their dad was probably mean, too.

The best part of Thanksgiving is changing back into my pajamas after wearing real clothes for an hour at dinner.

Trash me all day, but it’ll cost $8

Due to extraordinarily high demands on ticketing systems and insufficient remaining ticket inventory to meet that demand, tomorrow's public on-sale for Taylor Swift | The Eras Tour has been cancelled.

I just now met a minister here in Oklahoma whose first name is “Gospel,” and I am trying not to covet that.

Alright Oklahoma you know the drill... Don't be embarrassing.. Put on your cleanest wife beater in case you end up on the news

@ventureboring @OoUuChris @KOCOAbigail Who hurt you. Show me on the doll

Budtenders are the chiropractors of pharmacy

I feel like there's a giant meatloaf inside of me

If only we had taxed the rich maybe none of this would have happened

@johnsummit I love John summit I’ll stand in the middle of an apocalypse to listen to that fire ass shit

‘’Sucede que en cierto momento de la vida uno descubre que está rodeado de extraños: compañeros de trabajo, clientes, acreedores, vecinos y cuñados. Los amigos de verdad están lejos, probablemente encerrados en círculos parecidos‘’. #CrónicasDelÁngelGris

Behind every sibling, there's one that's unemployed but lives a very expensive life.