@faketitojohnsON
europe’s whole schtick is “at least we’re not american” while being 100% responsible for the concept of america 😭
@pixelatedboat
My relationship with Big wasn’t the only thing I blew up that day. At the Trinity test site I detonated the first plutonium bomb, unleashing a 22 kiloton blast. Had I become Death, destroyer of worlds? Meanwhile uptown, Samantha had her hands full with her own “Manhattan project”
@IAmAaronWill
Fake has become so acceptable that people get offended when you keep it real.
@katyperry
Found a curly fry in my dress just now. Gonna eat it. Hope that's ok. #goodnightgoldenglobes
@utdreport
5 Premier League titles 491 appearances 208 goals 103 assists Wayne Rooney is inducted into the #PLHallOfFame ?
@EddyElfenbein
To the guy who stole my antidepressants, I hope you're happy now.
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