Top funny tweets to print on your t-shirt today

Funny tweets always get a lot of attention on Twitter, they can also be useful offline if printed on a t-shirt. Here is a collection of funny tweets, cheer yourself and others up.

1. Tweeted by Conan O’Brien:
Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth.

2. Tweeted by Bewg:
I call my nipples The Godfather because no one is interested in seeing the third one

3. Tweeted by Trixie Mattel:
No one wants to see you do that Tik-Tok dance.

4. Tweeted by Todd Alcott:
PLANTS: imma wave my genitals in the air
HUMANS: mmm fragrant

5. Tweeted by shen the bird:
me: [headbanging to the radio]
my barber: fuckin stop it

6. Tweeted by Baron von Ghoulish:
Me: i have a headache
WebMD: and it’ll be your last

7. Tweeted by Viking:
[prounounces molecules like hercules]

8. Tweeted by Tam Yajia:
The claps in the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. song should have been screams

9. Tweeted by Fred Delicious:
landlords imply the existence of sealords, and most terrifying of all – airlords

10. Tweeted by hot boy fort summer:
If you only see 2-3 crows together that’s an attempted murder.

11. Tweeted by Kyle:
Joaquin is just quinoa pronounced in reverse

12. Tweeted by Conan O’Brien:
Just got asked to autograph a breast. My wife was nearby, so I told him “no.”

13. Tweeted by Eddy Elfenbein:
To the guy who stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy now.

14. Tweeted by chuuch:
therapist: good, good. now say it with confidence.

15. Tweeted by ditch pony:
are you okay? you didn’t say “cows” when we drove by cows

15. Tweeted by Marques Brownlee:
Changing your wallpaper really can change your whole life

16. Tweeted by Blake:
Sick of having to go to 2 different huts to buy pizza & sunglasses.

17. Tweeted by Megan Amram:
Our scariest president was probably Rushmore, because he had four heads

19. Tweeted by Artie Johann:
“Don’t worry, I’ll hold your stuff. You just worry about making friends.” – Cargo Shorts

20. Tweeted by Brian Gaar:
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious

21. Tweeted by nard:
socrates: to do is to be
plato: to be is to do
scooby: do be do

21. Tweeted by Keely Flaherty:
friend: how are things?
me: things are good!
narrator: things were not good

22. Tweeted by Alice Wetterlund:
Me, in hell: I was told there would be a “special” place for me?

23. Tweeted by Tater tot bros:
FIRST PERSON TO GET A CAT: haha this thing is an asshole I’m gonna keep it

24. Tweeted by marf:
[Boiling in a pot]
Boy lobster: AAAAGGGGHHH!!
Girl lobster: I’m cold

25. Tweeted by Abbie:
Me: My eyes are up here
Picasso: I disagree

26. Tweeted by Sage Boggs:
me: hi welcome to the party
people with dogs: we have to get home and let the dogs out

27. Tweeted by abolish offices imo:
julius caesar (dying after being stabbed 23 times): please…name a salad after me

28. Tweeted by Aparna Nancherla:
sorry i am running late, i was leaving my apartment & then accidentally sat down

29. Tweeted by Gabby Sidibe:
Mercury is in retrograde for everyone except Beyonce.

30. Tweeted by Shayne Topp:
Friendship: When two weirdos accept each other even though they’re weirdos.

Whether you still have a question about printing, pricing, need a tech support, or want to order 20 shirts for your team, we are ready to answer all your questions.